Parenting

Podcast Episode on Straddling a Meaningful Career and Parenthood

I was delighted to be interviewed for an episode of a wonderful podcast series exploring modern research and practice in clinical psychology. This episode focuses on modern ambitious and loving parents can effectively choose both a meaningful career and parenthood.

Dr. Yael Schonbrun and podcast host Dr. Diana Hill review research suggesting that pursuit of meaning in both work and parenting can be the cornerstone of happiness. However, the act of straddling an ambitious career and being a parent can be overwhelming and destabilizing. With research and personal examples, this podcast provides insights into how you can successfully choose both. Click here to download the episode.

When You’re On Maternity Leave, Ambition’s a Pain in the Ass

The battle between two competing desires—the desire to achieve and the desire to engage with loved ones—rages within many working parents. But on my recent maternity leave, I hoped I might get a reprieve. After all, I’m not just a mommy (a few times over), I’m also a credentialed psychologist specializing in the treatment of new parents.

Yep, I naively expected my third maternity leave would be smooth, psychologically and otherwise. Yet my reality turned out just like that of every ambitious parent in love with their delightful young children: I’m spit-stained, dog-tired, and faced with a barrage of conflicted thoughts and feelings about who I am as a mother and professional. (more…)

The Working Parent and Too Much Choice

Working parents blessed with flexible jobs have it all… but the “all” that they have comes with never-ending choices between prioritizing one role over another role. Why is having flexibility so stinking hard and what can we do about it?

The classic working parent’s quandary: realization hits late. You have an important work meeting the following afternoon…and your kid’s fall play. Torn up, you fantasize declaring that you can’t make either engagement. Maybe you’ll head to Target to peruse the latest seasonal décor instead. But with maturity—and awareness that you’d probably get caught ogling a tufted pillow—you quickly put that thought away. (more…)

A Mother’s Ambitions

Ambition and greatness looks different for professionals who dial back after having children. This essay, published in The New York Times set me on a path to explore this issue in greater depth.

“If I’m lucky, I might have as long as two hours to work. I riffle through the stack of research articles on substance use, pull out a few relevant ones, and begin revising my paper’s introduction. I’ve just gotten in the groove when a sweet singsong voice drifts over from the room next door: “Mommy, I have to go to the baaaa-throom!” (more…)

Annoying Offspring? You’re Not Alone.

After a regular workday, Sarah would return home with hopes of a peaceful evening connecting with her adorable 2-year-old daughter. But Sarah’s fantasy of an evening of delicious snuggles and shared giggles always seemed to crash into her reality: a child-shaped necklace who demanded her full engagement and didn’t realize (or care) that what Sarah longed to do was to turn her brain off and relax.

Sarah would find herself furtively and frequently checking the clock to see how long it was before it was until her daughter’s bedtime so she could have a moment to herself. Sarah laughed as she told me: “she sucks all the air out of any room she’s in. She’s just… annoying.” And then Sarah got quiet. “I shouldn’t feel that way, should I?” (more…)