Today we’re going to talk about a relational transition and fault-finding. The question of the day: Why does a person who has done something terrible always seem to think they are innocent of their crime? Let me start with a parenting share: My three boys get along pretty well… except when they’re fighting like little […]
Conflict We Can’t Escape: A Search For the Exit
In the past week, we have witnessed a flagrant reminder of the profound costs of intractable regional conflict. It’s the kind of conflict that not only extinguishes human lives, but which annihilates dignity, compassion, and hope. I’ve been in my own tailspin about the recent events in the Middle East, both for personal and professional […]
How Pros Connect: A Tip in Relationship-Building From Journalists and Therapists
Journalists and therapists clearly have distinct objectives. Journalists work to communicate stories and information to their audience. Therapists help patients overcome psychological problems. Yet both of these professions share something important: building a connection—sometimes with a less-than-willing participant. Building those connections is critical to professional success. Connection is something all humans need, there is no […]
How to Parent Maturely If You Were Raised by Emotionally Immature Parents
In July I shared a newsletter interview with bestselling author, therapist, and altogether awesome human being, Lindsay Gibson. Our discussion about disentangling from emotionally immature people prompted an intriguing and important question from a reader: One related question I have for you is about parenting your own kids when you are the child of an […]
What’s the Harm in Keeping a Secret a Secret?
Today’s blog digs into what happens to relationships when we keep secrets. I was moved to explore this topic after a somewhat surprising response to my recent piece about making hard decisions in relationships. In the article, I pointed to a variety of difficult relationship choices. But one, in particular, caught readers’ attention: the decision of whether […]
How to Parent in Our Toxic Achievement Culture
Today’s blog is a Q&A with the amazing Jennifer Wallace, author of Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic-And What We Can Do About It. As a parent and parent coach, I found this book to be a compassionate yet powerful wake-up call to the dangers of achievement culture. It’s also chock full of practical […]
Therapist Q&A: What Do I Do if My Partner Can’t Understand Me?
This week’s blog post is a Q&A that came in response to a piece I had written about making difficult choices. The questions posed by a reader touch on a theme that plagues many couples, so I hope you find it helpful. You can submit your own questions for future Q&A newsletters by emailing me […]
A Simple Way to Improve Communication: Know Your Communication Type
As a relationship therapist, the bread and butter of my professional life is teaching people to communicate better. And as a relationship scientist, partner, parent, friend, and (I admit) over-communicator, I spend a heck of a lot of time thinking about the core ingredients of effective communication. I’m in good company with my communication preoccupation: […]
Learn How to Disentangle Yourself from Emotionally Immature People
If you find events like the 4th of July stressful due to pressures to engage in your thorniest relationships, this newsletter edition is for you. I’m excited to share a conversation with Lindsay Gibson, author of the bestselling Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and leading voice on difficult relationships. Lindsay’s new book, Disentangling From […]
Should You Stay or Should You Go?
When The Clash penned their song, “Should I Stay or Should I Go?” in 1981, they offered the perfect anthem for folks struggling with this most difficult of relationship questions. Only it doesn’t actually provide an answer. Before I go any further, let’s all agree that no song, book, expert, know-it-all friend, or newsletter has […]